Three Hours, Fourteen Minutes & Thirty Six Seconds
by best with breadsticks
Summary: Zora needs a ride to Monkey Cars 3-D. And with Sonny busy with the whole Nico and Grady crisis, there are only two other people left to ask. Tawni and Chad. Time for an adventure filled with morgues, peaches, and much more... Tag to "Sonny in the Middle"
1. To The Movies With a Friend

Author's Note: So, this started out as a one-shot, but little did I know I was apparently embarking on the never-ending one-shot. Seriously, I got to about five thousand words and I'm like, "Crap, I'm nowhere near done.". It just doesn't end...ever. And so, it kind of became it's own multi-chapter story. I'm seriously having so much fun writing this story (probably because I'm just kind of writing loads of crap at this point, but oh well.). I've been writing this story for over two months (off and on), but it's just too much fun to ever end.

Anyway, this story takes place during "Sonny in the Middle". It's my version of the tale of Chad, Zora and Tawni while Sonny is busy with Nico and Grady. Yes, that's right. This is probably the most Zora I have ever written in one story. I don't know if I got her just right...at certain points I think I gave her a response Sonny would have, but I did my best with her.

So yeah...enough about me, tell me about you?

Disclaimer: I don't own anything _Sonny with a Chance_ related.

***

_Sigh_, the text on his phone read.

_Sigh…_ and nothing more.

That creepy, sad kid was trying to hint at something, but since today's script didn't specifically state how to deal with a text from a sad kid, he stared blankly at his phone. There really wasn't anything else he could do. He wasn't qualified to come up with plots on his own; that's why they paid those writers good money.

Maybe he should just delete the messages and act as if he had never received such a message, should she ask. But alas, he felt a pang of guilt, thinking back on the large, sad eyes she gave him when she asked if he would disappoint her.

His thoughts moved to Sonny and how busy she was with the whole Rainy and Cloudy mess she had created. She was always busy now keeping them happy and content that she was neglecting the little one, thus making her sad and unloved.

This whole sad kid business was really starting to bug him. He was Chad Dylan Cooper. Why should he care if some _Random_ was unhappy?_ Especially_ the little one who tricked him into going to see the dead giraffes. She should be miserable after that…But once more the stupid guilt welled up in him. He _should_ at least reply with a simple, "What, Random? I'm busy. Unlike you.".

He typed the message and sent it, but as he did it dawned on him that he had never given any Randoms -- expect for Sonny, of course -- his number. How in the world did the creepy one get it? She must have been creeping around his dressing room looking at his phone like an obsessed fan. He always knew she secretly loved him. Who didn't?

Chad smirked to himself as he waited impatiently for her response.

Nearly three _agonizing_ minutes of waiting later, his phone vibrated on one of the many tables that littered his lavish dressing room. He opened the message anxiously after having to wait _so _long and read her reply.

_I only wanted to see Monkey Cars 3-D with the greatest actor of our generation._

She had him with the phrase "greatest actor of our generation." He did _not_ want her going with anyone else now. That might imply the wrong message, that someone other than Chad Dylan Cooper is the greatest actor of our generation.

And though, it would hurt his reputation to be seen with a Random; it would _kill _his reputation to let her go with someone like Zac Efron. Taking Zac would thus be implying that _he_ is the greatest actor of our generation and not the rightful owner of the title, also known as Mister Chad Dylan Cooper.

His reply to her came quicker this time.

_Well, in that case. You're about to see Monkey Cars 3-D with T.V.'s Chad Dylan Cooper._

Thirty seconds later, the reply came.

_Great! :D The movie starts at 6. I'll meet you at your car in five minutes._

He blinked a few seconds, before comprehending her message. There was something really off and strange about it, but he couldn't quite put his finger on it. All this thinking was _far_ too much work for the heartthrob. He wasn't paid to think, that's why there are writers.

After ten minutes of thinking, he finally realized what was off.

Five minutes? Was she nuts? It was only two in the afternoon; the movie wasn't starting until six. What the heck did she expect them to do for four hours? Color pretty pictures? Since she was like eight-years-old or something, right? Or maybe she was planning to go back to that place of horrors?

Chad stopped his thought process.

_No way._ There wasn't a thing that creepy little monster could do to drag him back to that – that – that mentally scarring, festering flesh smelling, dead giraffe graveyard. It was horrible enough the first time; he really didn't need to relive the moment.

He typed swiftly on his iPhone his response.

_What do you expect me to do with you for four hours? Chad Dylan Cooper doesn't babysit._

With the message sent, he paced about his dressing room, waiting impatiently once more. All this waiting was driving him crazy. Chad Dylan Cooper waited for no one; especially not some crazy, gnome loving, creepy Random girl.

The response came three seconds later.

_Hey, I'm at your car. And I brought a friend._

It was official, she was nuts.

Nuts and waiting at his car with one of her crazy friends. His baby was probably trashed at this point. Was there any real reason use in looking out her window at the horror that was his formerly his precious, innocent convertible?

He scrunched his face, cringing already at the sight he was going to see should he look out his window towards his car. He _really _didn't want to know what had happened to his little baby by now.

He replied with a heavy heart thinking of his poor convertible.

_I'll be out in a second._

He took a deep breath and grabbed his keys on the way towards his dressing room door. If his car was destroyed, this would be the second one in the past month that the creepy girl had killed. He shuddered at the memory of his former little girl being filled with elephant manure. Poor, poor little baby. She was _so _young. She had been practically a newborn at the time of the incident. She was just another innocent life taken too, too soon.

Chad closed his eyes tightly as he walked from the doors of Studio 11 into the parking lot. He didn't want to be shocked by the horror that now was his car as soon as he stepped out of the building, so he kept his eyes shut. He would need to mentally prepare himself for the mess he was going to have to clean up. The poor little thing probably didn't even stand a chance when it came to _that _monster.

He knew exactly where his car was parked, even with his eyes closed. For the past three years, his parking spot has been exactly the same. Though only recently did he have the solid gold sign with his name on it placed in front of his car. It glittered majestically for the King of Drama, for whom the sign was engraved for.

Chad has his arms stretched out warm him in case he was about to crash into some obstruction. He waved them around wilding as he walked, to make sure all his bases were covered.

It was not long before he did in fact hit something -- or should I say someone.

"Hey," the girl's voice yelled, smacking his arms down. Chad's arms sprung right back into their original positioned and accidently touched the girl again. She apparently wasn't any happier being touched this time than last time.

"Hey!" This time the instead of smacking his arms down, the girl smacked him across the face. "Nobody gets inside Tawni Hart's bubble, besides Tawni Hart -- and on certain occasions, James Conroy. But that's it!"

Chad recoiled from the impact of her hand, opening his eyes to finally see Tawni standing before him. She glared wildly at him, telling him with her eyes that he was _far_ too close to her. Her personal space was precious – almost as precious as his car – and she would never let anyone (Well, besides James on some occasions.) intrude on it.

Chad took a huge step backward away from the crazed beauty queen.

"Well, this is good," Zora's voice lofted over to where Chad and Tawni stood staring at each other. "You're already acquainted with my guest." She motioned to Tawni, who shot another glare at Chad.

"Tawni is _your _friend?" Chad was appalled. From what Sonny had always told him and from what he knew about her, both he and Tawni had the exact same friends; also known as me, myself and I – No Zora Lancaster at all.

"Well, of course, Zora and I are – " Tawni cringed when she thought the word. "_Friends_…We're practically family. I'm the beautiful aunt, and Zora is the…ummm…"

"The weird, creepy girl that lives next door," Chad offered, staring at Zora, who grinned wickedly at him. He winced, already imagining what she was planning for this afternoon.

Tawni thought about it a second. "No, no. I was thinking more along the lines of _Sonny's _creepy, little daughter, which Aunt Tawni takes care of when Sonny is being a very uncaring and neglectful mother. Like now for instance."

"I don't think she's _Sonny's_ creepy daughter," Chad continued the conversation, "I was thinking more of either Rainy or Cloudy's –"

"Will you two please shut it!" Zora finally broke in. "There is no way I'd want to be related to any one of you people! Now, come on, we only have three hours, fourteen minutes, thirty-six seconds, and twenty-two milliseconds before the movie starts!" She shoved them both towards the car.

"Okay, okay." Chad said as he checked his watch. He hopped in the driver's seat, brushing his hair from his eyes. He had to make sure that he looked like a god next to these _Randoms_; not that it was hard for him to look like a god.

Tawni resisted though, digging her heels in pavement, causing Zora to fall backwards to the ground.

"Tawni! Get in the car!" Zora instructed, lifted herself from the ground. She turned to face Tawni, who folded hers and was tapping her foot loudly upon the pavement of the parking lot.

"No, no. Tawni Hart does not ride "shotgun"", she made air quotes around the word 'shotgun' as she spoke them. "Tawni Hart is an independent woman, who drives herself where she needs to go." She pouted out her lips.

"Chad," Zora turned to him. Though he was too lost in his reflection to realize she was speaking to him. He kissed the air at his reflection in the mirror to pretending that he was kissing his own beautiful image. All the while, he flipped and tossed his hair into a perfect mess.

Zora was becoming increasingly irritated with both Chad and Tawni. If these two hadn't been able to drive and hadn't been _so_ easily manipulated into things, she would have never asked either one to come with her to see possibly the greatest movie of all time. She beginning to realize that they both had the attention span of a fish and the IQ of a toaster.

"Chad!" She yelled in his ear. He jumped, hitting his forehead off of his rear view mirror. He groaned rubbing his forehead.

"What!?" He replied, clearly annoyed with the young Random. "Can't you see I'm sort of in the middle of something?"

"Chad, Tawni won't come with us, unless she drives." Zora pointed toward Tawni pouting.

"Oh _no_, Chad Dylan Cooper does _not_ ride in a Random's car. Let alone ride in the _back _of a Random's car." He glared at Tawni, who replied with a glare of her own.

"Who says were taking my car?" Tawni pointed to herself.

"Tawni's got a point," Zora agreed. "With gas prices high, only the greatest actor of our generation can pay to drive anymore. And plus, we're already standing at your car. We should just take it."

Chad's face twisted from confusion to anger in a matter of seconds. "Oh no, no; there is _no_ way I'm letting some _Random_ drive my beautiful little girl. I'll never be able to get rid of Blondie's skink from my steering wheel after she touches it. I'm already going to have to scrub the smell of talentless, nobodies from the fabrics. I don't need any more work."

"Chad," Zora started walking closer to the car. "We both know _you're _not going to do any work cleaning."

"Your point?" He replied, holding tightly onto the steering wheel in case they tried to pull him forcefully from the driver's seat.

"Chad, get out of the car." Zora opened the driver's side door in an attempt to drag Chad from the car. Unfortunately for her, Chad was well prepared for this sort of event. He tightened his grip around the steering wheel and held on as Zora tugged at his arm.

"Oh come on." Zora let go of his sleeve. "You two are terrible! Whatever possessed me to EVER want to go anywhere with either of you is completely gone! Why are you both _so_ difficult!?"

Zora began sobbing on the spot. Chad and Tawni both turned to each other; each of them asking with their eyes what to do about the crying girl. Neither one of them was trained for moments such as these.

Chad shrugged, pulling out the _MacKenzie_ _Falls_ script. "There are no crying little girls in this week's script. You got anything?"

Tawni shook her head. "We've got a "Gary and Larry" sketch this week. No crying girls." Tawni stopped for a second to think. "Though when I hit Grady with the frying pan after he used it to clip his toenails in, he did cry like a girl. Does that count?"

Chad thought about it for a moment. "So, our solution is to hit her with a frying pan until she stops crying…" He made a face. "_Why _do I suddenly feel as if _that _is wrong?" He scrunched his face more.

"Oh," Tawni's face lit up. "I know what that is! It's this _awful_ thing called "caring". It makes you all sweaty, nervous and uneasy. I was suffering from it once, but luckily, I survived." She wiped her forehead with her hand to symbolize the relief she felt.

Chad looked panicked. "We have got to stop this – this – this _caring_ nonsense. Chad Dylan Cooper does not get all sweaty and nervous for any Random!"

_Well,_ he thought, _except for one, but the creepy kid isn't her._

"Oh," Tawni's face lit up once more. "I know how to stop it. We have to make her feel better, and then the dreaded caring will stop." She started to breathe faster as she spoke her words. She could feel her heart racing; it pounded hard in her chest.

"Darn it!" Tawni yelled. "This caring stuff is contagious!" She raced over to the car, pulling Chad out of the driver's seat and tossing him to the pavement.

"What are you doing!?" Chad said, as he fought against Tawni, before she succeeded in getting and a hold of his jacket and throwing him on the ground. He rolled a few times on the ground after she threw him from the car.

"Curing this terrible caring!" Tawni turned to Zora with a smile. "Zora, get in the car! Aunt Tawni is taking you to see _Monkey Cars 3-D_!"

"Great!" Zora's plan had worked. She knew if she got the two of them guilty, they would give into her demands. It was a simple, but highly effective plan. She smiled impishly at Chad sitting on the ground, as she walked to the car.

Chad jumped to his feet and proceeded towards Tawni angrily. She slammed the door in his face. He tugged on the door handle, connected to the now locked door. Chad struggled with the door handle for a few moments longer, before whacking his hand against the side of the door, glaring crazily at Tawni, who grinned.

"Oh no! You two are not—" Chad's voice was lost in the roar of the engine as Tawni turned on the convertible.

"What was that, Chad?" Tawni asked mockingly. "I can't hear from inside your car." Her grin increased in size.

Zora hopped into the backseat and called to Chad. "Get in the passenger's seat! We've only got three hours, six minutes, twenty-nine seconds, and forty-four minutes before the show starts! Do you _want_ to make us late!?"

Chad growled, but obeyed. He couldn't just let them escape to who-knows-where with his little baby. He had to be there to protect her from _them._

He crossed his arms and stared angrily at Tawni sitting the driver's seat. She didn't even take notice. Her attention was too consumed in her own reflection as she primped and puffed herself in the rear view mirror. She pulled her handy-dandy Coco Moco Coco lipstick from her purse and applied a healthy layer, before she knew she was ready to go.

"Alright," Tawni smiled, grabbing a tight hold of the steering wheel. "And we're off."

***

Author's Note: So, how was that? Enjoyable. Lovable. Stupid. Smelly. Cute. Funny. Tehoewjwrhfdkhfvod (I just made that word up! It means whatever you want it to mean...(Though I think it means this story was looks like it was written by a bowl of French Onion Soup.)). Okay, well I'm going to go now... Goodbye. Hope it wasn't too terrible... Thank you for reading. :D


	2. Chunk E Cheeze's

Author's Note: Okay, so here's where this story gets really weird/crazy in my opinion and stays that way for pretty much the rest. But I needed some kind of drama...you'll see... I have about eight thousand words written of this. I'm hoping for ten thousand by the end... which is becoming very possible at this point.

Also, I want to thank TeddyLuver and TrinityFlower of Memories for their reviews on the first chapter. Thank you so much for at least giving this a bit of a chance. :D

This really has nothing to do with anything, but I thought it was cute. My seven-year-old cousin and I were watching "Promises, Prom-misses" one day. When we were getting to the end I was like, "This is the best part!". Referring to Chad and Sonny dancing at the end. She turned to me and said, "Chad doesn't love you. He loves Sonny.". It made me smile. It makes me happy when even a seven-year-old can see what's going on. :D

Anyway, enjoy chapter 2!

Disclaimer: I do not own anything _Sonny with a Chance_ related.

***

They drove for a couple of minutes before Chad finally broke the ever growing awkward silence.

"So…" He glanced back at Zora. "Where are we going? I mean, I don't really want to sit in a movie theater for three hours, unless I'm waiting to watch myself act like a god." He ran his fingers through his hair, fixing it once more. The more god-like he looked the better.

"No, we're not going to the theater yet." Zora leaned in-between her two companions. "I brought Marshall's GPS. I set all the coordinates for our first stop." She held up the walkie-talkie looking item, placing it between Tawni and Chad.

"How do we know you're not taking us back to that _horrible_ place?" Chad shuddered at the mere thought of the animal morgue she had convinced him to take her to. It was as if the images of festering flesh, rotting carcasses, and dead animals would forever be imprinted on his mind. No amount of therapy would ever be able to erase those pictures.

"Wait," Tawni chimed in, "Did she trick you into going to the disturbing and utterly horrifying animal morgue too?"

"_Yes_!" Chad stressed the word to emphasize his disgust. "And I'll never be able to erase those images from my mind! I think I've been emotionally scarred for the rest of my life! I can just imagine how much therapy I'm going to need."

Zora laughed manically in the backseat.

"I'm glad you're enjoying this." Chad said with sarcasm dripping viciously from his words.

If Sonny Munroe was the equivalent of evil in this world, the littlest Random was more than likely a spawn directly from the Underworld. She probably was some kind of devil in disguise or something. That was the only way to explain the Prank'd thing and the animal morgue.

"Well if you had seen your faces when we got there, you'd be laughing too!" She chuckled. "I got a Tawni and Chad scream all in a matter of three hours. It was like Christmas came early this year!" Her evil laughter increased in volume.

Tawni gazed up into the rear view mirror, narrowing her eyes at Zora. "You better not be leading us back there. Or Aunt Tawni is going to have to tell Mommy Sonny and she'll…ummm...—she'll do something very motherly…"

"Like what? Spank me?" Zora laughed again. "I think I can take Sonny if she comes at me. I've been watching professional wrestling with Grady since he won't watch it with Nico."

Zora held out her arms and made a headlock gesture. "I'll just put her in the sleeper hold. And then I'll _crush _her." Zora crushed her hands together to simulate her destruction of Sonny. She grinded her hands hard against one another to make sure her destruction of Sonny was understood.

Chad paled for a moment, watching Zora's motions. The crazy, creepy girl was threatening Sonny, and though he _really _shouldn't care if the Randoms wanted to destroy each other (it was probably a good thing in terms of ratings for _MacKenzie Falls_ if they self-destructed), he couldn't help but feel sick at the thought of the wacky girl going after Sonny.

"Chad, Chad." Zora waved her hand in front of his face. "Hello, anybody in there? Oh wait, who am I kidding… there isn't anybody in there normally…at least no one worth talking to anyway."

"Huh? What?" Chad blinked. "Sorry, what?"

"You looked like you were going to be sick when I said I'd crush Sonny. I was only kidding."

Chad let out a silent sigh of relief.

"About the sleeper hold," Zora continued with her statement. "I'm still going to _crush_ her like a bug and make her beg for mercy."

She began to laugh wickedly at the dreadful expression on Chad's face. It was a mixture of horror and paled sickness, as if harming Sonny was quite possibly be the _worst_ thing someone could ever do to him. Zora wanted to watch him sweat a little more, but decided to let him off the hook.

"Okay, okay." Zora held up her hands, smiling. "I'm kidding. Kidding."

He let out another quiet sigh.

"Not really." Zora threw in just for fun to watch him freak out a little more.

Chad's stomach constricted for a second, and he could almost feel the horrible look on his always perfect looking face. He was _so _confused. Should he be horrified or not? Was the crazy, little one going to maul Sonny or not? She really needed to make up her mind so he could know how to properly react.

"She's kidding, Chad." Tawni cut in. "Zora, will you please stop torturing him. The more you mention crushing Sonny, the sicker he looks. And the sicker he looks, the more he looks like he's going to throw up on me. And I will have both your heads on a platter if that happens. So if you please --"

"We're here!" Zora shouted in excitement pointing at the building they were pulling up to. Tawni parked the car and turned to Chad, who raised an eyebrow. The two older stars turned their gazes from each other to the small girl bouncing in the backseat.

"Chunk E. Cheeze's?" Chad stared at the whimsical building of childhood wonder in disgust. "Really? _Really?_ This is a place for children ages five to twelve."

"Well, I'm eleven, so it's fine for me." Zora said while unbuckling herself. "And plus, I can't go in there on my own, I need supervision. And that's where you two come in." She grinned opening her car door.

"What do you mean 'you two come in'?" Tawni raised an eyebrow, just as disgusted as Chad at the prospect of going inside the children's play land.

"I mean, I can't go in there without my parents," Zora motioned to the building. "It's some stupid rule. So, I need you two to be my parents. Just for like two hours." She grinned at them both.

Chad and Tawni didn't say anything for second, before they both exploded at the same time.

"What!?" Tawni yelled in surprised.

"You want me to pretend to be married to Blondie!" Chad threw his hands up in the air, flapping them around wildly. There was no way he'd ever even _pretend_ that he was in any way, shape or form related to either of these _Randoms._

"P-p-please. For me…" Zora's eyes seemed to grow twice their size with teardrops lacing the edges. It was slowly, but surely, her sobbing started up once more. And soon, Tawni and Chad found themselves again with a crying little girl.

And then, at the same speed they had found themselves in the presence of a crying little girl, they found themselves holding hands walking through the doors of Chunk E. Cheeze, gritting their teeth as they grinned as if they were proud parents. Zora skipped next to them, chuckling to herself. She was a master of manipulation; it was as easy as that.

"Hello, and welcome to Chunk E. Cheeze." The employee greeted them at the door with a cheesy (pun intended) smile. "Is this your daughter?" She motioned towards Zora.

Chad bit hard on his lip to keep from screaming the truth that he was being held against his will by a pre-teen and nodded like a good father. Tawni _would _have scrunched in horror her face at the question, but that would cause wrinkles, so instead she merely cocked her head and smiled without showing any of her flawless teeth.

"Well then," the employee got her hand stamper and stamped Zora's hand with the ink that could only be revealed in blue light. "And now you two," she reached out her arm to stamp Tawni and Chad hands.

Tawni reacted first, dragging Chad with her as she fled towards the door, away from the hand stamper of doom.

"Eww…you want to touch me with _that_ thing! Just think of how many people it's dirty touched!" Tawni took another step backward, knocking herself and Chad into the automatic doors. The doors flew open when the sensor finally registered their presence, causing Tawni and Chad to fall backward on the filthy floor mats.

Zora knew she had to act fast, for if not, her "_parents" _might escape this one. The waterworks began welling up in her eyes as she stood at the entrance to Chunk E. Cheeze's . She knew she had them as soon as the first tear fell.

"See," the employee motioned towards Zora. "You're being a terrible parent. You brought her here for fun and now you've destroyed it." She shook her head as she scolded Tawni.

It was at this moment that Chad decided to stop biting his lip and scream the truth. "WE'RE NOT HER PARENTS!" He let out a breath of air. "Whew, I feel so much better now… You have no idea how painful it is to even _pretend_ you're related to a talentless Random."

The employee gasped. "Security! We've got another kidnapping!"

"KIDNAPPING!?" Chad was still in a yelling mood, so he just kind of screamed the words to the high heavens. "Who's kidnapping? What?"

Security was on the scene in a second. They appeared from their secret security hideaway jumping over small children, pushing over tables for unnecessary reasons, tackling grandmothers because they wouldn't move out of their , while waving their nightsticks high in the air. All in attempt to catch these kid-snatching creeps.

Tawni and Chad got up quickly, grabbing Zora and began to book it out of there.

"Come on," Chad said as he tugged on Zora's sleeve. "We've to go!"

The younger Random wouldn't move. She tightened her pouting arms, glaring at her former fake parents. There was no way she was going without a fight.

Tawni gave up and was nearing the door, when she turned back to call to her companions. "Will you two come on? My perfect French manicure is in dire need of some attention!" She gazed down at her fingernails. She gasped at the horror that was her manicure.

"_Fine_!" Chad yelled.

Chad did the only thing he could think of. He picked the young, pouting Random up and tossed her securely over his shoulder showing off his god-like strength to all those in the children's wonderland. And within three seconds, both he and Tawni were flying through the doors of Chunk E. Cheeze's and to his car.

Chad clicked the button on his car remote to unlock the doors and threw open the back driver's side to literally throw Zora inside the car. Chad then hopped in the driver's seat, completely ignoring Tawni's refusal to ride "shotgun".

He put on his seat belt and put his keys into the ignition. The sound of the engine sounded so much nicer from this side of the car as opposed to the passenger's seat where he had been sitting. He moved the gear shift into drive, before turning to confront Tawni.

"Get in the car!" Chad reached over to open the passenger's side door.

"Oh no, I did not ruin my perfect manicure to then let some self-conceited jerk drive me around!" Tawni pouted out her lips with her hands on her hips. She glared at Chad sitting in the driver's seat.

"Did you just call _me_ conceited?" Chad scrunched his face. "Who told you _I _was conceited?"

"Well, that's all Sonny ever complains about – " Tawni stopped her sentence earlier than she intended, sneaking a peek over her shoulder to see the security from Chunk E. Cheeze approaching at an alarming rate. She grabbed a hold of the door handle and pulled the door completely open, hopping in the car as quickly as possible and slamming the door beside her.

With both fire and fear she turned to screech at Chad. "Come on, jerkface! Tawni Hart can NOT and will NOT do hard time!"

"Did you just call me "jerkface"?"

"Go!" She shoved him forcefully, causing his foot to slip off the brake and smash hard onto the gas pedal.

***

Author's Note: Thank you for reading. :D


	3. Crashing Into Incredibly Large Fruit

Author's Note: It's just getting weirder and weirder. I want to thank everyone who favorited, alerted, reviewed and just all-round reads this mess of messes. It's like 3AM...I really need to sleep, so this is probably edited really, really terribly. Anyway, who saw "Walk a Mile in My Pants"? It's hysterical. I loved the ending... Yeah, this author's note isn't really much of anything. It's like a stream of consciousness. It doesn't make any sense. It's just whatever is coming to my mind. I promise to review the stories I need to...I just need to sit down and review them. Okay, I'm stopping before this gets any more random.

Please enjoy.

Disclaimer: I do not own anything _Sonny with A Chance _related.

***

The convertible shot from zero to sixty in a matter of seconds. Tawni was tossed back into her seat, while Zora wrapped her arms around Tawni's headrest holding on for dear life. Both girls shouted loudly for Chad to slow up, but he ignored them as he attempted to weave through the obstacle course that was springing up before him.

There were lamp posts, other cars, buildings, people, dogs, vending machines, palm trees, shopping carts, and a giant pineapple all blocking his way as he maneuvered through the parking lot in front of Chunk E. Cheeze's.

Chad was silently cursing Tawni was for shoving him when he noticed the giant pineapple was rolling straight for them. He stared for a second, as he tried to figure out what the heck a giant pineapple would be doing there, when he remembered that it was in his best interest to avoid hitting the incredibly large piece of fruit with his car.

He turned his jerked his steering wheel quickly causing a very sharp and reckless turn around the pineapple. He felt himself, along with Tawni and Zora, being tossed towards the right side of the car as they turned to avoid the monstrous fruit.

"Slow down now, you imbecile!" Zora cried into his ear, still hanging on securely to Tawni's headrest. "You're gonna make us crash!"

Though the turn had slowed them down a bit, but they were still speeding. And even worse than just plain speeding, they were _gaining _speed at a shocking rate. And as it seemed, it didn't look like they were going to be able to slow up any time soon.

"I'm trying – Whoa!" Chad pounded his foot down upon the brake, praying hopefully that it would at least slightly decrease their speed.

But, as in most dramatic car scenes, nothing happened.

Chad grumbled something undecipherable before continuing to complain. "You know this is all Blondie's fault for not just getting in the car in the first place!" He swerved to avoid another large fruit that was sitting alone in parking lot.

"And what's with all the stinkin' fruit!?" Chad yelled as he weaved through a row of enormous grapes. This was just ridiculous.

"Don't blame me because you can't drive." Tawni defended herself. "_This_ is exactly the reason Tawni Hart lets no man drive her around – Well, except for my daddy…and on certain occasions James Conroy, but that's it!" She reached her hand up to flip her hair dramatically, but found that, due to the speed they were going, she was unable to move her hand up to her hair.

She gasped. "No car prevents Tawni Hart from flipping her hair!"

Determined to flip her hair, she reached slowly but steadily between herself and Chad and gave the emergency brake a firm pull, causing the car to gradually skid into an outsized peach before coming to an abrupt halt. This caused another chain reaction in which Chad smacked his face off the steering wheel.

He groaned, with his face still pressed to the steering wheel, as he thought of what had just happened to his young beauty. Another car, another freak accident that caused its untimely death; what a cruel world this was. First elephant manure, then a peach…what next?

Zora laughed wickedly from behind Tawni, loosening her grip on the headrest.

As soon as the car had come to a complete stop, Tawni raised her hand to her hair and flipped it flawlessly. She had succeeded in her goal of flipping her hair, and so, she was very happy.

"Now that's better." Tawni grinned at herself in the side view mirror. Though she was just careening out of control in a screaming metal death trap, not a hair was out of place and her make-up looked just as gorgeous as it did when she did it this morning.

Chad leaned back in his seat finally, watching as the peach juice rain down the windshield in streams. He couldn't bear to watch the streams very long for he could feel some warm liquid running down his face. Reaching his hand slowly up to his mouth region, he feared that his beautiful face had been damaged. He caught some of the liquid on his fingertips, causing him to groan when he realized what it was. He glanced up into the rear view mirror to see the nosebleed that was starting up.

"Ugh…_seriously?_" He leaned over Tawni to reach his glove compartment. He pulled out a few tissues and pressed them to his nose.

_Dang those _Randoms_ for giving me a nosebleed with their crazy car stopping techniques,_ he thought bitterly as he held the tissues to his nose. And _my poor baby, she's been peached. Poor thing…_

"Eww…" Tawni squealed in disgust. "Are you bleeding? Don't get it on me!" She pushed herself closer to the passenger's side door, father away from Chad.

"Yes, I am, thanks to you Randoms." Chad remarked harshly, lifting his head up in an attempt to stop his nose from bleeding so much. From the time he was a child he never could stand the sight of blood and today was no different. He would never hear the end of it if he fainted now.

"Well, if you had just slowed down then you would have a bloody nose." Zora said unbuckling herself in the backseat. "You should really start listening to Tawni and memore. We know what we're talking about."

Zora gazed over at Tawni twirling her fingers through her curls as she checked for any food in her teeth. She couldn't ever been seen walking around Hollywood with spinach or something else disgust in her teeth.

"Well," Zora continued, "_I _know what I'm talking about anyway."

Chad wiped his nose again with his blood stained tissue before coming to the decision that his nosebleed had decrease in flow. He curled the tissue up in his hand, taking great care to make sure no blood touched his skin, and tossed it out the open driver's side window.

"Litterbug!" Zora accused, while pointing at the tissue Chad just tossed out the window.

"It's your fault I got the nosebleed in the first place, so, in retrospect, you're the litterbug!" Chad spun around in his seat to glare at the girl sitting diagonally behind him. Zora's expression morphed into one of confusion in less than a second as she stared at Chad's glaring eyes.

"Chad," Zora began, shaking her head slightly while she spoke in her puzzled state. "How does that statement even remotely make any sense?"

"I'm Chad Dylan Cooper, that's how." His cocky demeanor was back in action. He needed to show these ladies who was the boss around here. And, of course, it wasn't going to be two people who ought to making him a sandwich and not arguing about whether or not he's a litterbug.

"You're name is not reasoning tool." Zora grinned viciously. "But I know something that _is _reasoning tool." She reached into pants pocket and brought out her the "friend" she actually was referring to when she texted Chad.

"Why are you grinning?" Chad suddenly felt more than a pit in his stomach, he felt as if his whole tummy was twisting and twirling into knots. All the while the little, creepy girl in the backseat grinned at something she was pulling from her pocket.

She looked over at Chad's sicken face before holding up her "friend".

"Chad, I'd like you to meet my friend, Bernie!" She pushed Bernie towards Chad's face, causing him to crash his back into the steering wheel as he tried to retreat from the snake, setting off the horn and the windshield wipers. Peach juice went flying through the air and through Chad's open window, spraying him in the face.

Chad wiped his eyes, grumbling at the fact they burned with peach juice. Juice was for drinking, not spraying the greatest actor of our generation in the face.

"Oh," Zora smiled, ignoring Chad grumbles. "He likes you!"

The snake hissed as it crawled up and down Zora's fingers. She maneuvered her hand to catch the snake before it fell onto Chad's lap. He cringed just at the prospect of the reptile coming any closer than it already was. During this cringe was when he noticed, through his partially damaged vision, that they hadn't really gotten _that_ far from Chunk E. Cheeze's when his convertible was gaining speed uncontrollably. And thus, the security was _still_ hunting them like animals.

Tawni was still lost in her own reflection, imagining to herself how attractive she much look to every guy in a mile radius. She was _so_ lost in fact that she didn't even notice Chad opening his driver's side door and flying from his seat and into the parking lot they were still trapped in. Chad began booking it blindly as far away as possible, both to escape the security and the Randoms. His car was already ruined, so there really was no need for him to bring his keys or anything. He would just buy a new one as soon as this little adventure was over.

Zora followed in suit after Chad upon seeing the ninja-like speed of the security from the children's wonderland approaching them. Though she knew she couldn't just leave Tawni in the car by herself to be mauled by the ninjas/security guards, and so, she did the only thing that she knew would certainly get Tawni moving.

"Tawni!" Zora yelled, watching the security hustling towards them out of the corner of her eye.

Tawni didn't make any eye contact with the young girl as she replied. "What? Can't you see this is Tawni Time?"

"Tawni, catch!" And with that phrase said, Zora tossed Bernie to Tawni.

Zora watched as he fell perfectly onto the top of Tawni's head. The snake crept its way into her hair, causing Tawni to start to twitch as she trying to figure out what was crawling on top of her. She reached up to find the little reptile that was slithering through her flawless curls.

The screech that followed would have not only broken glass, but shattered the sound barrier entirely. Tawni both shook and screamed at the same time, thrashing herself all over the car. Zora gawked at her reaction, but in awe as well as amusement.

Maybe inviting Tawni and Chad wasn't so bad. They were the best entertainment she had had all week. They might even be better than television.

Tawni pinched the snake between her pointer finger and her thumb as she kicked open the passenger's side door to escape the prison the car was becoming. Her next instinct was to throw the snake as far away from her as possible, which happened to be throwing Bernie into the center of the security swat team.

"THERE'S A SNAKE IN MY HAIR!" Tawni screamed through her high-pitched screeching.

She sprinted to catch up with Chad, who, though blinded by peach juice, was a good half mile away by then. Tawni moved like a cheetah in her heels to catch and pass that boy.

Zora chased after both of them, laughing cruelly at the chaos her little trip to the movies had caused.

This was _definitely _better than television.

***

Security flinched upon seeing the flying reptile. They cautiously approached it, lifting Bernie up with great care.

"It seems they're more dangerous than we thought," the lead Chunk E. Cheeze security team member commented. He gazed over his finely trained men as he listed the crimes and felonies against these two young people.

"They've committed a kidnapping of a girl about the age of nine or ten. And they're not afraid to throw reptiles at higher authority. And worse of all," He lifted the bloody tissue up from the ground. "They litter! It's obvious these two kidnappers are masterminds of a variety we have yet to deal with before, but," he cocked his stun gun. "We'll just have to learn how to deal with them."

***

Author's Note: Thank you for reading! :D


	4. Back to Where It All Began

Author's Note: Another chapter of this mess... I keep writing this, while I really, really need to review the stories "The Legend of Candy Face Unabriged" by and "Sunshine Shall Shame Sanity Particularly Painfully" by TrinityFlower of Memories. They're both written by amazing writers, and I would highly recommend reading both!

In other news, maybe "Sonny Get Your Goat" will be out tomorrow on Youtube. I hope so, but if not, we're sure to get it on March 21st. And also, SWAC season two officially premieres tomorrow! Woo! I'm super excited! :D

Thank you to everyone who reviewed, favorited, or alerted. I'm writing this story for you guys (as well as myself)! It's just so much fun! Okay, enough rambling. Here you go! Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own anything _Sonny with A Chance _related.

***

Tawni's speed was only comparable to that of the crazy guards that were pursuing them. She could still feel the slithering body of the green snake as it nestled itself in her golden locks. She was more than horrified at the prospect that the little vermin had been crawling on her head.

_What_ was _wrong_ with Zora doing that would possess her to _that_ to her?

Tawni began bypassing Chad on her galloping sprint away from the reptile. He reached out his hand to grasp onto her arm, but he was unable to slow her down. And so, he was tugged violently forward by the mad beauty queen on a mission to escape. His feet raced as he tried his very hardest to keep up with her.

"Chad," she pulled her arm away from his grasp. "What did I already tell you about Tawni Hart's personal bubble? It doesn't involve you." She then swiftly pulled her arm out of his grasp, causing him to stumble in his partly blind stupor for a few steps before regaining his composure.

He thought about it for a second, but couldn't recall a thing about "Tawni Hart's personal bubble". Maybe she had said it to him a long time ago? Or maybe he just didn't care enough to remember it in the first place? It's a tossup really when it comes down to it. Though, he had to admit, it was probably the not caring one.

When Zora finally caught up to both of them, she turned to glance at the building they were standing in front of. Her eye lit up with pure excitement. Though she had originally meant to lead Chad and Tawni to Chunk E. Cheeze's, the place they were at now was just as good, if not _better_. She grinned widely, watching the beauty that was before her.

"It's smiling again." Chad forgot about Tawni to turn his attention to Zora. His eyes were squinted at her. "_Why_ is it smiling again?"

The pit in his stomach was so incredibly deep now he could probably fill it with water and start a public swimming pool, complete with diving board and fun slide. Everywhere they went the small Random seemed to be plotting something evil and maniacal. And the look playing her face at that moment frightened him to no extent.

His squinted eyes began to expand, and soon he stared with large eyes, waiting for the impish girl to maul him. Or, even worse than being mauled, what if she pulled out a DNA test that revealed she was actually _his _sister? He physically cringed at the thought of this one. He had to remember that Fate was on _its – _the creepy Random's -- side today, so there was always a possibility that that might happen. He was suddenly nauseous again.

Tawni gazed over to the building and froze. Her expression was that of both utter dreadfulness and complete revulsion. She didn't move anything, except her lips to speak.

"No," she simply stated. "You brought us here."

She began to look rather ill as she took a few fleeting steps backwards. There was nowhere to run though. She contemplated turning herself in, because having to see what was in the building she was staring at again would be worse than prison.

Zora smiled. "Nope, Marshall's GSP and Chunk E. Cheeze security guards brought us here, but I'm glad they did."

Her face remained lit up as Chad then realized where they were. He didn't move for a few seconds, before screaming at the memory of where they were…

The memory would forever be burned into his mind and no amount of therapy would ever make a dent in the horror he felt. He knew he would be forever haunted by this day.

"You brought us to the morgue _again_!" Chad said through his nausea and shock.

If she tried to force him in there, there was going to be a ton of screaming and fighting on his part. There was no way she'd ever get him back in there. Never in a million years, because in a million years he'd be dead…and not even when he was dead would she be able to get him inside _that _animal morgue!

Never.

_Never._

_**NEVER.**_

"Nope," Zora shook her head. "Fate brought us to the morgue. Fate must love me today." She sighed, thinking about all the fun activities she had done today. She had manipulated Chad and Tawni into going to see an animal morgue, getting them both to scream like girls, got chased by security from a child's wonderland, let Chad meet Bernie, and best of all, she was going to see _Monkey Cars 3-D_.

This day was like Christmas, her birthday and Arbor Day all wrapped up into one! It was a _beautiful _thing.

It was then that it struck her that she hadn't checked her watch in a few hours – or what felt like hours. She snuck a quick peek only to realize they only had one hour, thirty-seven minutes, twenty-four seconds, and fifty-five milliseconds. Her eyes went wide; they needed to get to the theater pronto. She adored those little games they have before the previews start. And, darn it, Chad and Tawni would _not_ make her miss a single one!

"Oh, we need to move!" Zora grabbed Tawni and Chad's hands and began to pull them toward the theater, which was about two and half blocks away.

"Again with the moving!" Chad threw his free hand up into the air. "All we have been doing is running here and running there! Chad Dylan Cooper does not get lead around by some Random!" He tried to stand his ground, but the young Random was strong.

Zora jerked him down to her level. "Chad, either you move, or you better watch where you step, because there is no where you can hide that I won't find you. I _know_ where you sleep." She narrowed her eyes at him, scaring the living daylights out of the boy.

He stared blankly at her before gazing over her shoulder to see some blurs closing in on them over her shoulder. He cursed the stupid peach juice that was marring his otherwise god-like vision. At least he was able to blink away most of it.

It took a second of squinting his eyes, but he eventually figured out it was the Chunk E. Cheeze security.

"Don't they ever give up!?" He yelled.

"It's amazing that they haven't caught us yet," Zora spun around to see them behind her. "I mean with all the stopping we do and the time we waste yelling at each other, they should have had plenty of time to catch us. This isn't logical at all."

"Says the girl who talks to a farting dog," Chad commented with a slight eye roll. "But in any case, we need to get out of here."

"There's only one place to go!" Zora now began leading them away from the theater and into the morgue. Both Tawni and Chad started to protest, but when Zora reminded them they would be facing hard time for kidnapping if they stayed, they suddenly both were okay with the idea.

The three-some rushed into morgue with Chad covering his beautiful blue eyes with his hands in hopes of obstructing the visions of horror lying out in the frozen room they were in. Tawni pushed him hard through the building making him run into a multitude of walls, doors, small children, and eventually a dead giraffe carcass.

Needless to say, he wasn't too happy about the last one.

Security made its into the morgue. They growled, while they tried to sniff out their prey.

They noticed their targets, and made eye contact with the little girl. They could see the _terror_ in her eyes from being held captive by the two mastermind kidnappers. The mastermind kidnappers seemed to be ignoring the girl's terror as they were currently trying to look as dumb as possible to throw off the trained police force.

But it wasn't going to work at all, for they had seen _these_ antics before and they knew how they should be dealt with. Running with your eyes covered with someone pushing you into giraffe carcasses, a classic kidnapper technique.

Chad, Zora and Tawni hurried into nearby "Mommy and Me" bathroom and locked the door behind them. Chad tripped over one of the two matching toilets as he ran in, for he still was covering his eyes. Zora rolled her eyes and searched for a way out of the bathroom. She took note of the vent about six feet up from where Chad was lying on the floor.

"Lift me up," Zora commanded Chad, pointing up to the vent. "If I can get up there, I can figure out a way out of here. And then we can get to the theater on time."

Chad stood, grumbling about the stupid toilet. He brushed himself off and cocked his head before speaking.

"You still want to go to see that _stupid _movie."

The next thing Chad knew he was head first into the toilet. He thrashed around trying to find out what was happening. All he knew was that he was suddenly underwater and surrounded by a lot of white porcelain.

It hit him then.

Either she managed to shove his head into a teapot she was carrying around in her pants or she had dunked his head in the toilet. If it wasn't obvious earlier, this girl was nuts. Certifiably nuts.

He decided that her shoving his head in the toilet was more plausible than the teapot idea, and so he fought until he was able to break free of Zora's grasp and get his head out of the toilet. She crossed her arms and smirked as she watched him shake his hair out with fury.

"WHAT WAS THAT FOR!?" He fumed, glaring bitterly at her.

"What kind of movie is it?" She tapped her foot with an un-amused expression on her face. Clearly calling the greatest movie of all time "stupid" had dire consequences in her mind. Chad really needed to start watching his step.

"It's okay, Zora," Tawni patted her fellow Random on the head. "We all know Chad has no taste."

Chad gasped, "Really? You want to go there? _Really_?"

"Oh, I already went there bought property, and I'm building another summer home there." Tawni snapped her fingers.

"Oh, is that so?" Chad replied, not wanting to let some Random win this stupid fight.

"Yeah, it is." Tawni was beginning to stand her ground.

The two began to go at it. They argued about how one can't dress for crap and how they other can't act for crap. And about how they both hate the word "squish". And about how they can't stand when they're in hair and make-up and someone tells them there isn't any more product. And about how the color blue really brings out their blue eyes very nicely. And so on and so forth.

Zora gritted her teeth, before roaring loudly at both of them. "Shut-up both of you! You're driving me nuts!" They both quieted to look at her. "We only have one hour, twenty-eight minutes, nineteen seconds, and eight milliseconds before _Monkey Cars,_ and neither one of you is going to make me miss a single minute of it. So, Chad, darn it, lift me up! I'm going in!"

Chad did as he was told. And Zora was able to open the vent and enter into it. It was then that the _long_ and _boring_ wait began for Chad and Tawni. It looked like Zora was going to be awhile, so they both chose tasks to keep themselves busy.

Chad decided to use the hand dyer to dry and fix his hair. He couldn't be seen sporting the wet dog look. He needed his fabulous blonde locks to look picture perfect.

On the other side of the bathroom, Tawni decided to use the mirror talk to her own reflection about how gorgeous she looked today. She admired her manicure and flipped her curls back and forth, making sure everything was aligned beautifully.

All in all, they used their time wisely.

***

Author's Note: Thank you for reading!


	5. Rats in The Vents

Author's Note: I know I haven't reviewed on the stories I need to yet, but I wanted to update because April 4th is my birthday! And I wanted to update as like a present to both myself and everyone reading. So here you go. I don't think this chapter is very good, but yeah... I've been super busy with running and college. They literally eat my life. Literally. Okay, then. I hope everyone's day was lovely. Hope you enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything _Sonny With a Chance_ related.

***

Inside the vent, Zora crawled, keeping her eyes peeled for any beams of light which would indicate a possible exit. The dust and dirt from years of not cleaning the vents was rushing up to Zora's face. She coughed, wiping her hand in front of her to hit away some of the particles floating in the air.

After two and half minutes of crawling, there were pathways she could consider, either left or right. She peeked down both, noticing a fat rat chewing on what looked like a moldy piece of cheese sitting at the end of the right tunnel. She decided to store away this information of the rat for later when she returned to Tawni and Chad. Perhaps they could become acquainted with her new friend.

Zora gazed back behind her before taking the left tunnel. She could see an almost holy light shining up through the grates towards end of the tunnel. And upon further investigation, Zora realized this was the perfect way of escaping the morgue without being caught by the super crazy police force.

She turned around to return to Tawni and Chad, but not before luring her new rat friend, Winston, to come with her to meet some people.

***

"I can't believe that little – little—little--- Ugh!" Chad was having a very difficult time describing what Zora was to Tawni, who was too lost in her own thoughts about friendship and boats to really be caring about what he was babbling on about. She thought perhaps at one moment that maybe she should care about what he was saying, and then she remembered how terrible caring was, so she didn't listen in.

Chad was pacing about the bathroom, flailing his arms and ranting about what Zora had done to his hair when she dunked him into the toilet. What right at all did she have to dunk America's Number One Tween Drama Actor into a public toilet? And no less, a "Mommy and Me" public toilet! Just think of what those Mommies and Mes were doing in those things? Eww…

"I mean, sure, I called the movie stupid, but does that really constitution pushing me into a public toilet?" Chad growled. "I hope she's aware that my lawyer is going to hear about this and then I'll –" He froze.

He couldn't tell anyone.

If it got out that he spent the day with not only _one_ Random, but _two_, he'd be more than ruined. They might as well declare Zac Efron the greatest actor of their generation, for Chad would be more than _ruined_. He would be demolished into oblivion.

He gasped. There was no way he was going to let _that_ happen.

Tawni perked up for a second when she heard a bashing against the door. She quickly scurried over to the door and pressed her ear to it.

"Ugh! This -- That little ra—" Chad 's rant was silenced by Tawni taking off her spiked heel and smacking him in the leg with it.

"Hey, what was that for!?" He said as he hopped on his injured leg, while shooting a glare at Tawni.

"Will you please be quiet? I think security is on the other side of the door." She pressed her ear closer and listened, but was unable to understand what they were talking about. She looked over the door, noticing a small hole towards the bottom of the door. If she knelt down by the hole, she could probably hear what was going on.

She bit her lip in disgust at the thought of having to sit on the dirty floor, but she chose to suck it up enough to get the job done. She put her shoe back on and squatted down next to the hole, peering through it to see the boots of the ninja security team.

After a few moments she was able to get the gist of what they were talking about. They were convinced the kidnappers/litterbugs/retile throwers were locked up in the bathroom. And currently, they were planning with the owner of the morgue to bust down the door and arrest the two of them.

"We know you're in there!" The gruff voices on the outside of the door yelled. "Come out with litter, retiles and hands where we can see them, and you _might_ be able to avoid hard time…"

Another voice chimed in, "You forgot about the terrified little girl."

"Oh yeah," the first gruff voice continued. "And bring out the little girl unharmed, and we promise to not tackle you both to the ground!"

"But," one of the younger members of the group spoke up. "We're still allowed to stun them to the ground, right?"

Their leader laughed, "Course! Why would I promise to possibly not do the best part of my job?"

Ever since he was a little boy, he had always loved stun gunning people. Watching them writhing on the ground in pain, begging for mercy, was the best part of any day. Who could really say that wasn't the best part of their day? _Really_?

The lead of security rammed his stun gun into the door as he prepared to smash it down. The owner had given them the signal, and they were prepared to rush the door and knock it down. These two masterminds were going down…_hard_.

Tawni thought on her feet and suddenly found herself yelling back in a Southern accent. "Ah, darlin', I don't know what yer talkin' 'bout, but it's just little ole me and my little boy in this here bathroom. Ain't that right –" Tawni paused to think of a name for Chad. "Chad…addle….My son, Chaddle."

Chad stared at her with a confused expression. "_Chaddle_? Really? _Really?_" He mouthed.

Tawni nodded, motioning with her head for him to respond to the men outside the door.

Chad rolled his eyes and, in probably the worst little boy voice the world has ever heard, replied. "Yup, yup. It's just me and my… _Mommy_…Taw—Tawnld. Yup, me and Mommy Tawnld." He nodded, watching Tawni's expression.

"Oh sorry, Miss. Tawnald," the leader apologized. "We thought you were someone else…sorry."

He turned his head to his men and bellowed, "The masterminds are not in the pooper! I repeat the masterminds are not in the pooper! Move on out! Check behind that dead giraffe! Perhaps they've hidden themselves inside the corpse!"

There was a pounding outside the door as the group of men rushed off to check behind the nearest giraffe corpse.

Tawni sighed. "Well, that was close."

It was then that there was a rattling on the grate of the vent. Chad looked up to see Zora poking her head with a bright grin on her face.

His heart sank. She was going to maul him again; he just knew it. He closed his eyes, waiting impatiently for the vicious mauling to begin, but after a couple seconds, nothing had occurred. He opened his right eye slowly and peeked up at Zora.

"What?" She asked with the grin still on her face. "You look like you're waiting for something."

"I am." Chad closed his right eye again. "Now can you just make it quick? I want to get out of this stupid bathroom." He cringed instinctively as he imagined what she was going to do.

But again, nothing happened.

"Wow," Zora said with amazement. "I've managed to get you so paranoid that I don't even have to do anything and you cringe. I feel like I just won the World Series or something, because this is phenomenal accomplishment."

"So…you're not going to do anything?" Chad asked hopefully. Maybe there was a chance that the littlest vermin had actually grown up and was starting to become a part of regular society. Who knows? Maybe she would do something great, like solve world hunger, save the whales, or be able to clone Chad so he could spread his awesomeness to multiple parts of the world all at the same time. The possibilities were endless.

"Now, I never said that." Zora laughed, pulling Winston out. "Chad, Winston wants to be your friend."

"No, no," Chad took a step backward. "I don't want to meet anymore of your friends."

Winston squeaked, crawling up out of Zora's hand. The large rat squirmed and shook until it was able to free himself from the girl's grasp, and the process, send himself into a full on freefall. Zora gasped loudly in terror as her new friend fell helplessly toward the ground.

"Chad! Save him!" Zora yelled frantically from the vent. "He's got a wife and thirty-three little children to look after! You can't let him die in a freak vent related accident! Think of the children! They're _so_ young!"

Chad gritted his teeth, pondering just letting the even smaller vermin hit the floor. But the stupid Random had to tell him about the poor thing's wife and kids, and, even though Chad Dylan Cooper isn't much of animal person, he wasn't heartless. He knew when to do the right thing. And if the right thing was saving a freefalling rat, then so be it.

He leaped forward and caught the rat safely in his arms. The grin that soon came across his face quickly faded when he realized that rats don't get married…

"Ugh!" He shouted as he dropped Winston to the floor. The rat squeaked on the way down, but soon enough Winston landed safely on his feet and was fine.

"You lied!" Chad accused, while pointing viciously at Zora. "Rats don't get married and have families! They just mate with whoever they want!"

"Maybe so, but you believed it." Zora glanced back into the vent, before getting down to business again. "Now, will you two please get up here so we can get this show on the road? I am not going to miss one second of monkey greatness because you two were whining."

"Ewww…" Tawni turned away from her flawless face in the mirror to look at Zora. "There is no way you're going to get me into _that_ vent."

"Oh come on, Tawni." Zora rolled her eyes. "You crawled through the vents in the studio. What's different here?"

Tawni held up her, walking closer to the vent. "Oh no, no. I only went into the vent after I demanded that Sonny scrub the entire thing clean. No way would Tawni Hart be caught in some rat infested, dirty vent." She stomped her foot at the end of her statement.

"So that's what happened to my cobweb collection…" Zora muttered to herself. "Well anyway, get up here you, Drama Queens!"

"Drama _King!_" Chad corrected. Tawni smacked his arm.

He recoiled. "What was that for!?"

She shrugged. "I don't know. I just felt like it." She looked up at the vent and then back at Chad with a smirk across her face. There was only one way that she would feel okay with going up into the vent. If she the King of Drama as a lift.

"Chad, pick me up." Tawni instructed, holding her arms out toward him.

He took a step back, holding up his hands. "I don't think so."

Tawni was more than annoyed with him at this point, and if she had to go into the dirty vent, she was going to use Chad Dylan Cooper as a lift if it was the last thing she did. And so, she strolled over to him, grabbed him by collar and pulled him to the ground.

"Whoa!" He cried as he landed on his hands and knees. "What are you doing!?"

Tawni smirked, "Getting a lift."

She stepped on his back, using him as a lift up to the vent. She reached up for the vent, grasping onto Zora's hand. The younger Random gave a huge heave and pulled up the older girl. But in the process, Tawni's phone managed to slip out of her pocket and fall to the floor with a clatter.

"Oh! My phone!" She reached out her hand out of the vent to reach for it, but it was too far away. "Chad, get my phone!"

Chad growled, standing up from the ground, fixing his jacket. He brushed himself off and walked casually over to her phone. He picked it up from the floor, smirking like a madman. Tawni watched in horror as he moved over to the toilet and held the phone just above the bowl of water.

"No!" Tawni yelled from the vent.

Chad grinned evilly. "Oh, I'm just giving it a lift…Into the oblivion!" He threw the phone into the toilet.

"Who's giving who a lift now, sucka!?" He mocked the phone and Tawni at the same time.

Tawni screamed. "No one throws Tawni Hart's phone down a toilet! You are going to regret that mister!" She flipped her hair, and suddenly everyone knew she was serious.

***

Author's Note: Thank you for reading! :D


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